I can’t believe I am actually posting this pre picture… #Ownit

But,  If I can do this … you can achieve what ever it is that will make you happy in your own skin!

My Transformation from day one to current

 

The one on the left, is one of  the few I allowed to be taken from the time my youngest was born until she was 3 months. My youngest was only 4 weeks old when this picture was taken, and I weighed 265 lb.

The ones on the right are at 148 16% body fat, My youngest is 23 months now.

Hard work, good choices and a lifestyle change= A totally different me

This last pic is what I accomplished in 10 months.

She actually said,” you are too fat for that face ”

My Journey from Fat to Fit

At the beginning of my weightless journey, a complete stranger told me, in summary, ” you are to fat for that face”….whaaaaat, excuse me?!  O-yes, she did say that! Let me share with you how she became one of my closest friends and the power of a genuine and honest and well intended comment.

One day, as I stood in front of my class of thirty students, the substitute para educator (teachers aid),  spoke a painful truth out loud to my face. A truth I had thought in my head many times but never imagines the sting of hearing out loud from the mouth of a stranger.

This curly-haired, strawberry blond woman, with the most contagious smile and bold presence said to me,

” You should joint weight watchers.”

….. ummmmm excuse me? I thought,as I stood in stunned silence. She continued on,

” I go, and lost 50lbs so far. You should join.”

I could feel the heat in my cheeks,  I was ready to snap at her about how rude, she is heavier than I am, who is she to judge me, the nerve…when she spoke a truth that cut to the bone.

“You have such a beautiful face, I bet when you walk past your reflection you think ‘ o-my god, this body does not match the reflection I see in the mirror, who put my head on this fat body’ “.

Now,  in this moment I could have permanently placed her on my shit list and avoided her at all cost (as much as possible when she assists in my classroom at least).

Instead, I said ” ya, sure.. maybe” and turned around in hopes that she and my thirty teenage students wouldn’t see the tears escaping my eyes… because I knew she was right! She wasn’t trying to be mean.

Her comment, blunt as it may have been, was true. I had done such a good job of hiding behind my weight that in my reflection, I no longer saw the witty, confidant, intelligent woman I once was. I saw a sad, insecure woman who let fear and pain suppress all the things that once made me proud to be me.

I had already made up my mind to change my diet in order to be the best me for my daughter, but it was her “brutal truth” that resulted in my deeper reflection on what being the best me meant.  This is when I saw the big picture, I had to do more than make a physical change. I had to engage in a mental and physical change.  For me, this was the key to my success, in health and going forward in life.

A few weeks later she was in my classroom again. She promptly said

” I haven’t seen you at Weight Watchers, you should really do it”.

This time, I smiled at there and agreed to go.

In our time at weight watcher, and teaching together she became one of my very closest friends. I quickly learned that blunt and straight forward, without apology, is the core of who she is. You get what you get with her, the warmest heart with the best intentions and nothing but the truth! It is actually one of the things I love most about her, in addition to her robust laughter.

We have shared our journey together both losing over 100 lbs, sharing in the platos, set backs, hurdles and victories.

Perhaps there is a gentler way to go about it…  but, don’t hesitate to encourage those you care for to take care of themselves. You may never know how much the appreciate it!

Thank you Charlotte! You changed my life!

Skinny fat to Fit and firm

 

In my weight loss journey there have been many goals achieved and new goals set. For me, this is the key to keeping the weight of.  Upon reaching a healthy weight, I was thrilled to have reached my gaol! But found my body didn’t look quite as I imagined it would. Rather than discount my huge success and dwell in disappointment, I celebrated with a new goal.

obviously a scale number could no longer be my measure of achievement. So I dive into the world of body fat % and sought reasonable heathy parameters for a sustainable and health new goal.  I wanted to earn the body I envisioned with my initial weight loss journey.

for me this meant setting my goal to be fit and firm . Not knowing exactly what lifestyle changes I would need to maintain body fat percentages, I decided to set my self up for success. I set my BF goal, between 17-20%. Knowing I had to choose a sustainable realistic goal to avoid discourage by over an unreasonable goal.( I have children and a husband , I want to eat healthy with my family and not miss out on birthday celebrations or pizza night;).

So, with a goal to be fit and firm and a standard that affords for real life, allowing me to model a healthy life with moderation and reason for indulgence, I set of.

Can I just say, I love strength training! The results were evident so much faster the. Weight loss goals were. And the quick reward keeps me motivated! Clean eating has become a big part of our families diet at least 80% of what we eat is fresh and non processed.

i went from 155lb at 5’9 and 20%bf( still considered health, But I show no time at this %) to 150lb and 17% body fat in 4 month.  For me this is easily sustainable weight and bf% that shows the firm fit body I wanted. This requires 2 spin classes and 3(45 min) strength straining sessions a week.

I like to keep it real and say that after holiday meals or an indulgent weekend with friends or family, I can see and feel the difference in my stomach and it takes me a good week to work it if. But that is so doable and worth it to enjoy life and feel good in my skin.

I don’t intend too loose more bf… It isn’t sustainable much below 15%(for women), without dramatic diet restrictions and health implications …. And my overall goal, is health!

however I still set goals, I want to see real ab definition and banish the buthie. You know, when your butt and thigh are one unit….. My goal is to build a butt of muscle, standing out from a firm thigh:).

my advice for reaching your goals, keep it real! Don’t beat your self up for missing a day at the gym or not losing weight that week, each day is a new day! Celebrate not gaining, praise yourself for how often you do make your health a priority and love the new chance you get each day to make your self better, stronger, healthier, happier. You are the only one with the power to do it!

Ps still in draft for from my iphone….I will fix all the errors and typos when I get caught up on my grad work. But I didn’t want to leave every one who private messages me w questions hanging.

A Mental and Physical Change

Many people have asked me about how I lost all my weight.  I would like to share the down to earth and real ways I achieved my weight loss. I would also like to reinforce it with the “why”.  I credit my success to the fact that I don’t believe in diets, you have to make a lifestyle change.

I began my weight loss journey 5 years ago, after I my first daughter was born. I had spent years hiding behind my weight, as a defense mechanism(The category strength from pain will offer more insight into this).   Adding to that, was the fact that  my only source of pleasure, joy or comfort came from food.   I found myself at a whopping 265 lbs on my 5’9 frame.

The birth of my daughter changed everything for me! I now had the most amazingly beautiful, perfect and overwhelming source of joy and pride.  I wanted to be able to do everything with and for her. I knew I wanted her to grow up with a healthy body image and that I couldn’t teach her this, if I was always hiding in clothes and afraid to wear a swim suit in public.   I wanted my full attention on her and creating a life rich in learning and memories.  Not how my thighs looked in a swim suit or what jiggled, when I danced and played with her.

This began the first stage of my transformation.  I joined weight watchers and began learning more about healthy living and food.  I gave up on sweets and after losing the first 60 lbs,  I started doing yoga and pillaties. There were plenty of plateaus and it took me almost two years. I knew I couldn’t beat my self up or push to hard or I would give up.  So every pound down was a reason to celebrate. Before I knew it, I had lost 90 lbs! I was more than confidant in my skin and full of energy to play and explore in the world with my daughter.  Then I hit a major speed bump, that was more than a little defeating. During my second pregnancy I gained 85 lbs!

I am telling you, pregnancy for me, is like pulling the rip cord

on and inflatable life raft.

I had little to no impulse control and gave into every craving in the most fantastical form of overindulgence. To make it worse, I had pregnancy complications that caused me to have false contractions, be light-headed/black out with any form of rapid movement or exertion. With no exercise and a Dr order to limit my standing and walking at work… which eventually lead to bed rest the last month… I was beyond depressed and discouraged.

After giving birth to my second daughter, I knew I could not indulge in these worthless feelings.  I had to make up my mind and get back to the healthy life I had achieved once before. When we packed up and drove across country for my husbands new job, when my youngest was four weeks old.  I was so worried about establishing a new community and friend base. My new weight had me insecure and uninterested in all the social events that arise with a move to a new community and your spouse starts a new job.

I still remember the look on my husbands face when I declared that I would be back in my old jeans within the year!  The pity and empathy in his eyes, as he tried to point  as delicately as possible, that it was a lot of weight and would take time.  He encouraged me to not be to hard on myself.  I knew I could not let my daughters watch me avoid social situations due to my weight. Once I found out what Virginia summer humidity was like… in maternity pants and full length sleeves no less, I had added motivation to reach my goals.

So… forward I went with round two, to reach and maintain, my Healthy weight goals.

On my fridge and pantry, I pasted a picture of myself from the day I met my goal the first time and a note that read,

Pre Baby Pic

 

” do not give up what you want most

for what you want right now”.

This help me to refocus, when I found my self reaching for something to eat. I would see that picture and remember how good it felt to be comfortable in my skin. This helped me make healthier choices or identify, if I was really hungry or just board.

 

I started rationalizing my intake on the basis of, “if I wouldn’t feed it to my girls then I shouldn’t feed it to my self.”  I am very nutritionally focused, when it comes to feeding my girls, to support their developmental needs.   A few months and 20 lbs down, from simply better food choices.

I found the MyfitnessPal app and started  tracking my intake. I stayed within a calorie goal the App helped me to set, based on the fitness goal.  Within a few months, I reached my goal!

In fact, it only took me 10 months to get back to my pre 2nd baby weight of 170 lbs.  I was elated to pull out the old wardrobe,  I loved so much, and zip up my jeans without any jumping, wiggling or sucking in. =)

At this weight,  I had met my goal and realized that I could do anything I set my mind to.

So,  I set a new goal, to reach the weight I was the most confident at 155. In this process I quickly learned I could no longer focus on simply caloric restriction to drop weight. I needed to learn how to excursus effectively to strengthen my body and replace fat with muscle.  I started doing 2-3 spin classes a week and added 2 strength training sessions to work on the tone and muscle I wanted to build.  Two months and 15 lbs later I pulled on a size 9 Jean… a size I hadn’t worn since high school! I had reached my goal!!

The best part,  is that I spent every day that summer soaking up memories with my two amazing girls by the pool.  Not distracted once, by what my thighs looked like in my TWO piece bathing suit,  the first one I have ever owned.

In future post I will share information on nutritional, calorie goals, tips and tricks for moms with little ones, fitting in fast effective workouts in a busy life and the rest of my journey from skinny fat to firm and fit.

Please feel free to leave your questions/ comments here and I will do my best to discuss them In my posts. I know how daunting weight loss can seem, in a chaotic busy life. Nothing is off limit, ask away, I would love to help you find take the mystery out of reaching your goals.

Today, was an EPIC FAIL!!!

I wasn’t going to say anything about the job until I landed it…WELL that won’t be happening!  So, let me share the events that led to me, BOMBING the interview for my dream job. A very lucrative job, I turned down 3 years ago … Because I didn’t want to relocate to D.C.😫( Irony).

Anxious, excited, nervous for the big interview, I pack my gym bag so that I can hit spin class and get ready at the gym. (This was my master plan, to ensure I would walk into the interview calm, collected and focused…The complete opposite of how I feel after attempting to get ready at home, with a toddler who is far to curious about my body in the shower and morphs into a WWF wrestler when I attempt to apply eyeliner).

I meticulously pack my gym bag with a pencil skirt, a modest modern sheer blouse, an appropriately nude bra, professional heels, nylons, etc. I timed it perfectly! The sitter arrives 10 min early to watch Ava while my oldest is at school. I snag my bag from Ava who of course has it open (contents completely disheveled) and head off to the gym, tickled with the head start.

50 min of spin, 10 min shower, 20 min hair and makeup. Now to get dressed…. this is where my day dove face first down crap-o-la hill!

Nylons; why does it look like I wore these in a barbed wire- hurdles event?…. Sigh Ava had caught them up in the zipper while “helping me” rearrange the contents of the bag. “O well” I think to my self,  I can pull off no hose,thank god I shaved my legs.

Skirt, heels, bra….., bra…. Where the hell is my bra? You have to be kidding me… I’ll be way late to the interview if I go home for a bra.  And no, I couldn’t just wear my sports bra, I had worn one of those normally, “awesome” tops w the bra sewn in. Today, I loath this clever innovation! Well, to make this to long of a story shorter…

I ended up at the interview looking like, “Tits McGee” in a room where they forgot it was NOVEMBER!!! With the ac on full blast, no nylons, peanut butter smeared on the a$$ of my skirt.  That, I might add, I didn’t see until I got home. I was so flustered that “confident and competent” are the last thing on the interview teams mind, I am sure of this!!

On my drive home knowing I had just BOMBED my interview, I tried to gain perspective and tell my self, that the days events just meant it wasn’t meant to be yet, the girls must still need me at home.

………. Upon walking through the door Ava begins screaming No,No,nooooooooo and launches into a flailing whirlwind of tantrums and poop that have yet to give me a moment to let the days events really sink in…. Sigh, just so you girls of mine know, I love you deeply!!!

But when you are sixteen, I may walk you into school every day in the exact outfit Ava send me of in today…. 😂😖😜