I HAVE MOVED

I am so Excited to announce that I have moved over to a new website for my Blog, Recipes and Workouts! If you have enjoyed My post please Head over to www.fullofgrit.me and follow me on my new site.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post. I look forward to sharing with you and helping you in a new, cleaner and more user-friendly format!

-Emily

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When your thighs touch, the struggle is real.

I think it is fair to say that the hot and humid Virginia summers and chubby thighs don’t mix! In an effort to combat the Level 10 chafe, that was ruining my summer, I discovered baby powder. You see, baby powder can be a real life saver for anyone with thighs that touch!

But there are rules for this life hack. 1. Never when wearing black! 2. Never with yoga pants. 3. Only in moderation. By ignoring these three critical rules, I found myself in one of the top5 most embarrassing moments of my life.

The day started with lots of confusion and everyone running about 30 minutes behind schedule, like every other day now that I am a mother of three. In an effort to be efficient, I had scheduled dental appointments for the entire family back to back. when I made this appointment I underestimated the time it would take to get the entire family, including the 4 Week old Baby, out the door on time.

After a million trips up and down the stairs chasing to corral our round bunch out the door, the chafe factor was of the charts. Out of desperation for relief I franticly reached for the baby powder and haphazardly gave the bottle a good shake or ten down my black yoga pants…..

Ahhhh the relief!!

Ahhhh the relief!!

It wasn’t until we were all waiting in the lobby of the dental office, that I realize the severity of my error in judgment. I bent over to dig through the diaper bag to find something to appease the baby… only to be interrupted by my husband trying to choke back laughter.

Highly sensitive about this strange and mushy postpartum body, I spun around on my heels to scowl at him and and demanding to know just what the hell he thought was so funny.Through stifled laughs he told me to look at my butt.

Well, easier said then done in my current form. So as I tried to crane around to
examin my vast behind for what could possibly be so funny. I pulled the black fabric of my stretchy yoga pants out, only to find my entire rear end was covered in white powder.

It was at this point, I made the most epic mistake one could make, when wearing black yoga pants full of baby powder. In the horror of discovering my dusty white rear end, I allowed my pants to snap back in place This launched a cloud of fine white powder into the air like a nuclear cloud.

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Thank god the receptionist wasn’t at her desk! I frantically flailed my arms about in the air of the lobby, willing the fine white powder out of the air.

At this point my husband had erupted in laughter. I fled to the bathroom (being sure to keep my back side against a wall).

I frantically emptied my pants of what, I can only imagine must have been the entire contents of the baby powder bottle.

After desperatley trying to clean it all up of the dark wood floor of the bathroom, I came back out and casually tried to use my arm to brush the fine haze of powder that had settled on the ledge of the receptionist desk.

At this point my husband quietly tells me the counter is the least of of my worries, pointing to the floor of the lobby. I Looked down and to my horror,  there must have been an inch of white powder across the entire dark wood floor of the lobby.

Completely embarrassed and defeated, I plopped down next to my husband and applogise for being so embarrassing.

He sweetly put his arm around me and said “Babe, don’t worry about it! There is nothing hotter than watching a white plume of dust erupt from your wife’s yoga pants”
😂😂😂😂

Yet another one of those moments where I could Laugh or cry… So I cry laughed.

Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Week

Have you ever had ” one of those days “, where you are on top of the world one minute… and then face down and confused the next?

Like, when you were a kid and beat out all the other neighborhood punks in a bike race. Throwing your hands up in victory… only to go flying over the handle bars of your bike,  developing a deep respect for what asphalt can do for your face?

   Well, I have been having one of those weeks!

I Need a vacation!

The worst part is… I did it to my self!  Well, at the very least, I set my self up for epic failure when I foolishly pulled an all night-er last Monday  to “wrap up”some home work.

By all night-er, I mean I never went to bed at all, the sun went down, kids went to bed, husband went to bed, husband woke up, kids woke up and I was still plugging away on my research like a moron.

To make it worse, I stubbornly and stupidly hit the gym for my normal morning work out after dropping my daughter of at pre-school.  Then I chose to shower and get ready for class while the girls napped… Now, a smarter woman, would have snatched a quick nap herself before her evening class.  But No,  not me, I charged on foolishly thinking to myself;

“wow, I am really impressed with how alert I feel! Ha, I am not tiered at all!”

Then came a painfully LONG and boring evening grad class where hit a wall, a brick wall.  I fell asleep, dropping my lapfull of skittles that crashed and clattered along the lenolium floor with a highly unnecessary amount of noise in the other wise silent classroom.

Yep, nothing says “I have my crap together”, like jerking your head up like a startled ostrich and frantically wiping sleep drool from my face as I debated ” do I pick up the skittles or pretend like it waste me?” ( mind you every one is staring at me and chuckling by now).

This was the beginning of my terrible, horrible, no good very bad week! The kind of week where every though I had was met with a sharp ” its a shame”.

“It’s a shame,” I still have a research proposal to polish and submit , a constructivist e-learning environment simulation to develop and the professor for my third graduate class, thinks it is cute to randomly change the syllabus and assign every one a 3 page reflection on how important her course is.

“It’s a shame,” I stayed up all night monday night pretending I was still in my 20’s and invincible … because, I am 30 and my baby woke up with a fussy stomach and my pre-schooler needs three shoe boxes for a school project and my husband just reminded me he will be out-of-town  for the rest of the week and life charges forward with no “pause” or ” wait… I am not ready” button.

“It’s a shame,”  I still manage to underestimated the role of a full-time mother and wife and often forget that I am,  indeed, only human.

The kind of week, where Wednesday rolls around, and I still have ZERO school work done. The kind of week where I have an accumulative 5 hours of sleep come Wednesday… because I have been up all night tending to a pukey little love and frantically scrubbing carpets, in the short moments my poor love can fall asleep before waking up sick again.

The kind of week, where I feel like the worst momma ever because I have to disappoint my big girl when I tell her, she will have to miss the shoe box science craft at school( that she has been talking about all week) because, I just can’t stuff her sick and puking sister in a car seat and take her to school.

The kind of week, where in that exact moment…

where I had to let my sweet big girl down…

her sister turns in my arms and pukes on the side of her face and head…

launching my typically composed big girl,  into a tantrum of  understandable disgust, dryheaves and shrill cries about how ” wrong and unfair” this whole day is.  All the while, flicking puke all over my kitchen, as it runs down her arm and I struggle to stifle my own inapropriat giggles, tears and gag reflex.

The kind of week, where I got nothing done … beyond bathing all the miserable girls (myself  included),  Soothing one sick baby and one disappointed heart with a cuddle session and Disney movie marathon… while I desperately glancing at my lap top, painfully aware of the mounting pile of neglected school work.

The kind of week, where I think I can see the sun peeking through the clouds on Satrday, when my  little love is on the mend and  her big sitter has forgiven her for puking on her face and me for letting her down (Only after, I did a making up at home shoe box science craft).

The kind of week, where I work like a maniac during the kids naps and after they go to bed, to slam through/catch up on my home work.  Where monday rolls around and I put the finishing touches on my research proposal and presentation. I pull out my professional  clothes, handling them like a delicate treasure some one has allowed me to borrow.

The kind of week where I smile to myself and remember how good it feels to have a reason to wear a pencil skirt and I want to throw up my hands and say;

BOOM, world!  Now, this is how it is done! Family needs met, Check.  Work done and submitted, one minute before the deadline, Check.  Dressed like a boss and ready to dominate this presentations, Check!!”

The kind of week where, despite overcoming the weeks challenges, my victory dance is short lived and I soon find myself flying over the handle bars of my bike, when I let my nerves get the better of me while presenting my research proposal.

Don’t get me wrong, I sounded composed, my timing was impeccable, the audience was engaged.  But then,  I dropped the presentation ” clicker”, Trying not to break the connection I had with my audience… I clumsily stepped backward and caught my heel on the chair behind me and CRASHED backwards, heels over head, behind the presentation podium. A loud and defeated expletive may or may not have escaped my lips in this exact moment.

The kind of week where I find myself  hiding behind the podium fighting back irrational tears of defeat and contemplating crawling out the door … a meager 4 feet behind me.  My master plan interrupted abruptly by the sound of a slow clap…

Yes, some one actually started a slow clap!! Feeling the heat flush my cheeks I began to gather myself and figure out a modest way of getting back on my feet.

The kind of week where I peered over the podium to find the entire room had risen to give me a standing ovation. GAHHHHck!!! Why did I have to be born so clumsy?!?!?!

The kind of week where, despite it all… I took a deep breath, straightened my skirt and took a bow, the room erupted in laughter.   At least I was born with a healthy sense of humor!!

Well, at least the week has come full circle and is officially OVER!

My awesome dad send me the link to this video today. It couldn’t have been better timing!

 

One thing every parent needs? A good laugh!

Parenting can be frustrating, fun, fascinating and filled with challenges.

It can also be down right hilarious, if you can pause long enough to take a deep breath and laugh in those moments of insanity.

  1. Laughing helps to lower blood pressure and increases vascular flow: So, I tune out the tantrum and get a kick out of the fact that her sisters face says it all. Her face, LOL, my thoughts exactly !

@Tincanvas2. It makes you feel good: Laughter encourages the release of endorphins, the “feel good” compounds, in the brain. When I am feeling burnt out, frazzled and done for the day …at 3pm, I remind my self to stop. Taking 10 seconds to sit down and watch the crazy antics your kids come up with, works wonders for changing your mood. I mean it, as much as we love them, kids are weird! I dare you to watch them when they don’t know you are watching and not to crack a smile.

I dare you to keep a straight face

I dare you to keep a straight face

3. Laughing makes us more enjoyable to be around:We have all had that moment, the one we instantly want to take back; where the stress, volume and chaos of the day gets the better of us and we growl some absurd command like ” stop making  so much noise”, Only to look up and see the wounded and confused faces. I mean really, it is there job to make noise, challenge boundaries and see if they can really fly from any height as long as they are holding onto a broom stick, right?!

It is our job to model healthy stress management skills… and try to intervene before they leap from the top step clutching a broom stick;).  I am far from perfect but, I do try to challenge myself daily to find something laughable, about the insane antics my little loves come up with.

OMG, They Finally lost it.

OMG, They Finally lost it.

Memories being made...I mean, the damage has already been done right?!

Memories being made…I mean, the damage has already been done right?!

4. Get weird when you  feel like blowing your lid, if nothing else  it will confuse your kids: A big part of poor  behavior, is a challenge for control (they learn quickly which buttons to push). Getting crazy and acting silly, can not only defuse the situation, it can create fun memories. In our house. we call the time between 4 and 7pm, the witching hour. The kids a whinny and tired and so is mom! Rather then giving into the snowball effect of indulging in a bad attitude, I instituted the nerd dance, works wonders for changing everyones attitude.

  1. Everyone appreciates laughter and the benefits of it. However, in the daily grind of parenting and making a living,  it’s easy to forget how or why we laugh. This is a disservice to ourselves and our families. So, remember to find  humor in things and laugh as much as you can. You are your own worst critique… give yourself a break. There is no such thing as perfect, why not laugh about the bizzar reality of your own version of normal.
Just keeping it real

Just keeping it real

❤ Emily

 

One of those days!

@Tincanvas

One of those days

Ever have one of those days…. The kind where you wake up behind!

Today is “one of those for me! I consumed nearly a sleeve of girls scout thin mint cookies,  was covered in my husbands coffee, then my coffee. To top it all I pulled my groin muscle doing my impression of an Olympic gymnast, contorting in ways I didn’t know I could, trying to a avoid crashing into my oldest daughter… all before 9 am.

Need a good laugh? Let me explain how thing came to be…

 I stayed up way to late, working on my research proposal (2 am), only to have my littles loves wake up bright an early at 6:30. I am NOT, a morning person. Even with 8hrs of sleep, I tend to revert into a cave woman, grunting and stumbling about, until I have had my coffee and an hour to wake up.  So today with 4 hrs of sleep… I don’t even bother to grunt. 

Two days ago, despite knowing that thin mints are my kryptonite, I foolishly caved in and bought some from the adorable curly-haired neighbor girl… how could I deny her, with those cute brown eyes pleading from behind her awesome purple glasses, framed by wild black curls. I don’t know about you, but without sleep… My impulse control around food is zilch!  I stumbled about getting breakfast ready for the girls. I grabbed the cookies on the counter and shoved one in my mouth… apparently I repeated this process 15 times, while making my coffee.

I didn’t even realize how many of those evil cookies I had eaten until by observant 5-year-old declared, “mom, maybe you shouldn’t eat so many cookies, they are a sometimes food you know!”. Lol, wise beyond her years. 7 am and I just undid, the now inevitable trip to the gym. Gahhhk.

But it was at 8 am that my day really picked up… my sweet husband leaned in to kiss me goodbye and wish me a better day, Only to dump his mug of coffee all over me(He had it perched on top of an arm full of work papers.) I scrambled to clean it up and changed clothes. I threw all the soiled clothes and rags in the wash and grabbed for my coffee… desperate for some caffeine!

O-But of course, it slips from my hand and splattered EVERYWHERE, as it crashed to the ground. R-U-Kidding me?

With the clock ticking down to get Lilly to school, I clean up all the  coffee, that magically keeps seeping out from under the washer and dryer.

Change…AGAIN, rush back down stairs to get the girls coat and shoes on. ONLY, to slip on the apple juice Ava dumped out all over herself and the floor (she recently learned to take the lids of her sippy cups =(.)

Sliding and contorting to avoid slamming into Lilly, who’s eyes are as big as silver dollars as she is frozen in place watching this mess of a mother cone careening toward her. I managed to miss her and pull my groin muscle in the process and I slammed into the corner of our cabinets instead.

Really!? Really?! Sigh… Change Ava, Change my socks, The mess will have to wait until we get home, Lilly is late for school.

So, here I am at  9 am. Juice spill still on the floor, laundry waiting to be run,mounds of grad reading I have to get through by tonight class, procrastinating the work-out and shower I so desperately need.

Maybe, after I chug this pint of coffee and laugh about how entertaining the play back would be if we had a nanny cam… then,  I will be ready to catch up on all  the tasks, I am already so far behind on;).

Am I the only one who has days like this?

Way too smart and a bit vindictive.

Sweet little Ava, is way too smart… and a bit vindictive.

I mistakenly tried to study for school while the girls playepd. Within minutes of cracking my books, Ava starts hollering at Lilly(her big sister), about a toy.

I play referee, make Ava apologize and distract her with a new toys. There, problem solved, I can go back to the reading… right?!

Next thing I know, Lilly is yelling ” why would you do that to me” in her typical dramatic fashion. I look up to find Ava beaming as she stands over a furious Lilly who know has a soggy box of oatmeal in her lap.

Apparently, little miss Ava drug the bathroom stool out, grabbed Lilly’s favorite oatmeal from the pantry… and then proceeded to dipped the entire box in the toilet … as evidenced, by the trails of water leading from the toilet to Lilly’s lap.

Laughing to hard to be mad.

It is times like these that I imagine Ava as Stewie,from the Family Guy, ” take my toy and then get me in trouble eh? think again fool, think again.” Poor Lilly! 

  • This is what I get for trying to study with the girls awake.

Lillys face says it all

Poop and Soup

 

@Tin Canvas

Poop and soup… what a day!

YOU HAVE GOT To be KIDDIng me!!!!!TMI/ LMAO warning.
I am cleaning up dinner and Lilly says ” I am full”.

I am bent over loading dishwasher and say ” okay bring your dish to sink… Instead, she comes and stands DIRECTLY over my head, with her tray and full bowl of soup.

I stand up smashing, my head Into tray sending soup flying EVERY where…. Including all over both girls. Ahhrg!

So, I send Lilly to clean up, strip Ava naked and take the rugs, towels and clothes to laundry. As I walk into the room w/broom and dust pan… I see Ava has ripped of her diaper and is literally MID POOP in middle of kitchen.

I don’t know why, but I leapt forward to catch the poop with the dustpan (not like I don’t already have to mop the entire kitchen covered in soup.)

But…. In my speedy reflex to catch poop, I slip on the soup.

Ava and I both end up on floor covered in poop….. I quit!!! — feeling crazy

Today, was an EPIC FAIL!!!

Front CameraI wasn’t going to say anything about the job until I landed it…WELL that won’t be happening!  So, let me share the events that led to me, BOMBING the interview for my dream job. A very lucrative job, I turned down 3 years ago … Because I didn’t want to relocate to D.C.😫( Irony).

Anxious, excited, nervous for the big interview, I pack my gym bag so that I can hit spin class and get ready at the gym. (This was my master plan, to ensure I would walk into the interview calm, collected and focused…The complete opposite of how I feel after attempting to get ready at home, with a toddler who is far to curious about my body in the shower and morphs into a WWF wrestler when I attempt to apply eyeliner).

I meticulously pack my gym bag with a pencil skirt, a modest modern sheer blouse, an appropriately nude bra, professional heels, nylons, etc. I timed it perfectly! The sitter arrives 10 min early to watch Ava while my oldest is at school. I snag my bag from Ava who of course has it open (contents completely disheveled) and head off to the gym, tickled with the head start.

50 min of spin, 10 min shower, 20 min hair and makeup. Now to get dressed…. this is where my day dove face first down crap-o-la hill!

Nylons; why does it look like I wore these in a barbed wire- hurdles event?…. Sigh Ava had caught them up in the zipper while “helping me” rearrange the contents of the bag. “O well” I think to my self,  I can pull off no hose,thank god I shaved my legs.

Skirt, heels, bra….., bra…. Where the hell is my bra? You have to be kidding me… I’ll be way late to the interview if I go home for a bra.  And no, I couldn’t just wear my sports bra, I had worn one of those normally, “awesome” tops w the bra sewn in. Today, I loath this clever innovation! Well, to make this to long of a story shorter…

I ended up at the interview looking like, “Tits McGee” in a room where they forgot it was NOVEMBER!!! With the ac on full blast, no nylons, peanut butter smeared on the a$$ of my skirt.  That, I might add, I didn’t see until I got home. I was so flustered that “confident and competent” are the last thing on the interview teams mind, I am sure of this!!

On my drive home knowing I had just BOMBED my interview, I tried to gain perspective and tell my self, that the days events just meant it wasn’t meant to be yet, the girls must still need me at home.

………. Upon walking through the door Ava begins screaming No,No,nooooooooo and launches into a flailing whirlwind of tantrums and poop that have yet to give me a moment to let the days events really sink in…. Sigh, just so you girls of mine know, I love you deeply!!!

But when you are sixteen, I may walk you into school every day in the exact outfit Ava send me of in today…. 😂😖😜